Autumn
by Discombobulated-Chum-Bucket
Summary: There had been a time when your smile could brighten up the room. But now there is no smile left at all. Lily reflects as she sits by James’s hospital bed. OneShot. R&R.


**Title:** Autumn

**Summary:** There had been a time when your smile could brighten up the room. But now there is no smile left at all. Lily reflects as she sits by James's hospital bed. OneShot. R&R.

**Disclaimer: **I own everything except the names, which are Ms Rowling's and "Can't Help Falling In Love With You" which belongs to Elvis.

**A/N:** Before you throw your keyboards, monitors and various other gadgets at me, yes, I told you that I was busy with exams and that I can't update anything and that still holds as true. The other day I was looking through my documents and found this oneshot I had written last year. It was originally written for an English essay but was labeled as too melodramatic so I decided to re-write it as fanfiction but it never actually made it on to the site because I forgot all about it. In other words, I didn't write this recently but merely came across it yesterday and decided to post it.

And a message for one **ChocolateIsMyDrug** who seems to always be mentioned in my Author's notes: fanfiction's gone and screwed me over. I reviewed when I read them about a year ago but none of my reviews turned up for some reason…I'm devastated! No really, I am. They were very witty, well thought out reviews as well and I can't reproduce them because I don't actually remember them. I tried PMing you but it doesn't seem to be working on my home computer. I'll re-try reviewing next week during I.T. That's when I generally manage my account and stories anyway. It should work because I'm using a school computer and not my shoddy out of date home computer. Unfortunately they won't be as good as the originals.

**x.O.x**

_September 1981 (present)._

I stare out the window at the golden brown autumn leaves being blown around by the wind, trying to restrain the howl of misery trying to escape me. I look back at your sleeping form lying helplessly on the hospital bed. I extend my hand and stroke the side of your once handsome face.

There had been a time where just the smile on your face could brighten up the room. When you smiled your eyes would twinkle mischievously and now there is no smile left at all. Your face is lined and careworn. A scar from that battle runs down the side of your face. A tear escapes the corner of my eye. The terrible fight to revive you from your state of comatose has been long and painful. And it feels like we're losing. Now all I can do is just sit by you and watch your body slowly be drained of life. I bury my head in my hands and let out a muffled scream of anguish. Tears fall thick and fast out of my eyes as I wail lamenting for our loss.

I think of our son, oblivious to all the horrible goings-on and a new wave of grief washes over me. I cry even harder, my sobs echoing throughout the room. I wish I could turn back time. I wish I could forget all about this…

Then I feel a hand on my shoulder. I turn around and see you standing behind me, a mischievous grin lighting up your handsome features. An eerie, yellow glow surrounds you. You offer me your hand and I take it without speaking.  
We walk out of the hospital room and into the Hogwarts grounds. Children are crowded around a sobbing girl trying to in vain to recover her underwear that has been levitated 2 metres into the air. A boy around the same age as the girl is laughing at her.

An impish grin is playing around the boy's mouth; a grin not unlike the one you are wearing now.

Then I realize where we are. It is autumn of 1971 and we are both in our first year at Hogwarts. I am the weeping girl trying to retrieve her underwear and you are the good-looking boy that hung them up there in the first place.  
I remember how much I hated you at the time.

If someone then had told me that I would be married to you, I would have attempted to gouge out their eyes. I playfully punch you in the arm as we stand there watching the commotion from afar.

I never fully understood why you had chosen me to be the target of all your pranks or where you managed to find my underwear. I suspect you might have stolen it from my school bag. My dear mother always forced me to keep a spare pair in case of "accidents". I'm not sure I want to know exactly how you found out about that though.

You laugh softly and push your hand through your dark hair. Once again you take my hand and we walk together through the school door.

We walk into a large, brightly lit classroom full of adolescents. A harassed looking Professor Binns is standing at the front of the room trying to bring the class to attention.

An attractive youth with dark hair and familiar hazel eyes has created quite a scene in the centre of the classroom by kneeling down on one knee and belting out "When I'm Sixty Four" (by the Beatles) at the top of his lungs to an embarrassed looking girl. A girl with vivid red hair not unlike mine.

The girl looks stonily out the window at the golden brown leaves frisking about in the wind, trying to ignore him. I laugh out loud at the sight, fondly remembering how our hatred towards each other in primary school had transformed (even though I had hated to admit it at the time) into something quite the opposite as we progressed through high school. I look up at you and smile sadly.

I don't know if I will ever be able to hear your atrocious singing and make fun of it. You smile at me, the strange yellowy glow still lighting up your hair and tug on my hand. I let you lead me out of the classroom door of Autumn 1975.

We enter a restaurant, which is flooded in red light. Paintings from the Renaissance adorn the walls. A young musician is standing on a stage singing softly in the background. Windows framed in red curtains display the whirlwind of red and yellow leaves falling from the trees outside. With a jolt I realize that we are standing in my favourite restaurant. It is the 24th of October 1978. It is the day you turned my life around; the day you proposed.

"_Darling so it goes_…" croons the muggle singer.

You are the handsome, young man, dressed in a suit, kneeling down on one knee. I am sitting opposite you, trying to hold back tears of happiness. Slowly you pull out a small, box covered in deep red velvet from your jacket pocket. You open the box and carefully hold it up.

_"_…_Some things, you know, are meant to be…" _

A delicate diamond ring with a slender gold band sits within the box, glinting in the red light of the restaurant.

_"…Take my hand, take my whole life too…"_

"I remember when I first met you I…I…um…bugger…er…well…what I'm trying to say is, Lily Evans, I love you more than anything in the world," you declare to me as you kneel on the floor, "Will you marry me?" Tears stream down my face as I smile down at you.  
"Yes!" I manage to choke out before I burst into tears.

_"_…_For I can't help falling in love with you…" _

Once you've slipped the ring on to my hand, you stand up and pull me into an embrace. I bury my head into your shoulder with your arms wrapped tightly around my waist.

My heart feels like it's going to explode from emotion as I watch this picture from near the door. I lift my hand to my face and look at the ring you gave me several years ago. Tears well up in my eyes. You put your hand on my shoulder and smile reassuringly. I grasp your hands one again and stare into your deep hazel eyes. Suddenly you scoop me up and carry me out the restaurant door. I giggle in surprise. Something I haven't done in many days.

You carry me into a church. My heart leaps. Autumn 1979. It's our wedding day. We have arrived just in time for me to say those two magic words.

"I do."  
"You may now kiss the bride," the priest says solemnly. I turn away from the scene to look at you. For the third time tonight I am in tears. You take my chin in your hand. I give you a watery smile. You lean in towards me and press your lips against mine. I wrap my arms around you neck. I never want to let go. Not now, not ever. You pull away from me. I sigh, knowing it was too good to last. Once again you lift me up and carry me out of the church.

Just as suddenly as you picked me up, you drop me down on the ground. I only just manage to land on my feet. We both observed the scene before us with bemused expressions.

I am lying on the sofa, wolfing down a tub of mango-flavoured ice cream and nursing an enormous stomach.

"James!" I am screaming in frustration, "I need a cushion!"

You come rushing into the room. You are wearing a frilly pink apron and your hands covered in oven mitts.

"Yes, dear. Right away!" you say and hand me a fluffy purple cushion and run back into the kitchen.

"JAMES POTTER!" I bellow. Once again you come bolting into the lounge room.

"Yes, darling?"

"Before I scream 'bloody murder', get me a lemon! And make sure it's sliced into quarters!"

"Anything for you, Lilykins," you reply while dashing into the kitchen, frilly apron flapping about.

"How's my baby boy doing in there?" You ask as you re-emerge with the quartered lemon.

"Just fine...oh my gosh! He kicked! He kicked!" I shriek excitedly. You scurry forwards, lean over and press you hand against my bloated stomach. Your eyes widen.

"He did it again! Did you feel that, Lily!?" you shout.

"No. I didn't," I say sarcastically.

I chuckle at our antics but feel a reverberating sense of melancholy at the same time. Where did all those days go? How could a life so filled with joy become so empty so quickly? I look back up at you, my eyes brimming with tears. You smile at me as though you know something that I don't.

You utter two words. "It's time." I nod silently not quite understanding. You clasp my hand one last time and hand in hand we return to the hospital room.

I turn around to face you only to find that you are no longer there.

"Lilybean?" A voice whispers from the hospital bed, "Is that you?"

You're back.

**A/N:** Yeah. That's it. Sort of anti-climactic. Crap ending. Oh well. Everyone go and download "Build Me Up Buttercup" by McFly right now. And also review. Please? And while you're at it, read my other story Nostalgic For Disaster. I'm rather proud of how it's progressing. The new chapter should be out by June. The rather possessive ex from the first chappie returns…and Lily uses this to her advantage. Heehee.

Virtual hugs and kisses,

DCB


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